This morning

Underground Cathedrals & Books & something else

We're going to see some underground cathedrals (see also here) this coming weekend: I can't wait as I love that area. My partner has found a very romantic place to stay. He is pretty good at it ;) We'll be back on Monday afternoon... I can't miss Pilates. I guess I'll need to work out next week:

- tomorrow: lunch with my best friend (pasta with zucchini, mint and fresh ricotta plus dessert);

- Saturday: lunch to celebrate my dad's birthday at a well known (and very good) restaurant not too far from where I live. Dinner with friends (homemade pizza);

- Sunday: Piedmontese cuisine at lunch and dinner, namely not so light food and excellent wines.

- Monday: + 3 kg!

I've just bought two novels written by very good Italian writers: Niccolò Ammaniti and SandroVeronesi. I don't know if their books have been translated into English. Google them, Ammaniti's and Veronesi's books are always worth reading. 

I've been busy lately and I haven't had time to write about a meeting with someone I haven't seen for more than 20 years. She gave me a picture of us when we were 10 years old ... good memories and nostalgia. I'll write soon about it.

I am far better now than last summer which is unusual as one always feels great on holidays. It is possibly related to several aspects. My mom, who has been suffering from a chronic disease for a long time, is doing very well. I can't quite believe it, she is a different person. I love her so much, we are very close and it's great to see her living again. She is busy renewing her house and seems very excited about it. Pilates and Feldenkrais have changed my perspective and I have been changing... for the better (as one of my colleagues told me yesterday). We have been planning our life together and after 13 years I can see major changes coming up. We'll move in together very soon and hopefully have kids. 

Have a good weekend :)

A ray of light (and my belly)

It's been raining since yesterday night. I woke up at 6:40 at it seemed 3 a.m: almost no light which I found very depressing. When I lived in Canada I had to wait until 10 in the morning to see a ray of light. I walked to the University in the dark, every single day. On my way back it was even worse as at 6:30 p.m in Ontario (December) is as dark as in a night without stars and moon. The same applies to the "wet coast": last November in Vancouver was far too dark for me.

I NEED more light! 

On the positive side, I'll go to Pilates later on. It cheers me up as the teacher is so funny and warm. Usually things go like this:

"Lolaaaa"

"Yes"

"Your belly moves. You're not breathing properly"

"It's not true"

"It is. Stop moving your belly, Lola"

"I'm not moving it. I DO have a belly, I'm not flat like you!"

"Nooo. You are not breathing properly. PULL YOUR BELLY BOTTON TO YOUR SPINE, Lola"

"Ok......... I can't"

"What??"

I can tell you, it is challenging. One has to:

- pull the belly botton to the spine

- do the lateral breathing and maintain it through the exercize.

Not to mention when one has to imagine a diamond in the pelvis! Last time my imagination was so powerful that I felt the urge to urinate!  (the culet was too close to my bladder).

Food and other things

I work at home today which is good as I can walk the dog before doing anything else. I share the office with other people and it's difficult to focus sometimes. As I mentioned elsewhere I need silence to "function", this is why I stay at home at least two out of 5 days per week. I'm planning to work hard today, cook brown rice and knitting (in the evening). Another thing I need -well, my intestine needs- to function is integral food (I'm not sure this is the right word. We say cibo integrale when food such as pasta and rice is brown and rich in fibres. How do you say? Integral or not refined?). I have very peculiar breakfasts: grained flax seeds (that cointain high level of dietary fiber) with dry mango, coconut and yoghurt is what I usually have. My partner says that "I'm not Italian" in this respect as I don't eat ordinary food, rather I prefer organic and vegetarian food. I used to be vegetarian and I still eat meat or fish for no more than -say- two times a week. I don't eat affettati (i.e. ham, salami and so forth)... except when I go to Tuscany as finocchiona is something I can't resist!

**
I'm reading two interesting books. One is non fiction, written by an English author who lives in Italy (no, it's not Andy!). Teach us to sit still has been a very pleasant reading so far. While the second book is fiction, it offers cultural insights which makes it more than just a novel. Both are worth reading. I'm looking forward to read Cunnigham's last novel which will be published in Italian in the next days. However, I'm sure I'll buy it in English ... 

**
I'm planning to write some Feldenkrais chronicles in order to explain the benefits of this method. If I have time, I'll do it in the following weeks.

8 years old

I don't think there are words to say how much I love him. He has changed our lives for the better and I simply couldn't live without those intelligent eyes which always try to understand what we say or what we are going to do. We have been together for 3 years now. Happy birthday big boy.

Your Mom

Scarves

The first is done, the second is a work in progress..
click to enlarge.

Perspectives

I have put considerable efforts to accomplish professional goals. I really like my job but it is not quite what I expected. I should focus more on relevant issues rather than on things which are far from my responsibility and expertise. Not to mention that I have changed a lot and I have other interests now and private goals I would love to achieve in the near future. My career is not as important to me as it was few years ago and I am certainly open to new job opportunities.

I might open a tea house and pastry shop or even sell my knitting products (well, my scarves). By the way, I'm thinking about uploading a picture of a scarf here and see if someone is interested. I won't make a living with scarves but still, it will be a nice try. If I lost my job I'd probably become seriously involved with Feldenkrais and would try to become a certified teacher.

Until few years ago I wasn't aware of my "body" and of the strict links between body and mind. I wasn't into body & mind issues as books and culture were my main interests. I hadn't been familiar with my body for many years until: a) I stumbled upon a book (this is my way to deal with problems: reading inspiring books); b) I  made a big mistake c) I asked myself what happened to my soul voice d) I underwent a surgery. After all this I realised how much I had lost: my instinctual nature was buried under intellectualism. I dealt with my frustrations and changed my perseptive on life: I don't work anymore on weekends, I listen to my body and I can see the body/mind connections. I've been working on breathing, posture and how to improve my well- being that might be or not related to my daily job. We all have to cope with job related problems, now I am able to put them into the right perspective: job is very important but not as essential as health. I do my best but I don't get stuck: I move on as there are other things in life. It may be sound obvious but it wasn't obvious to me until -as mentioned above- few years ago.

As a writer I love claims, women (I would say human beings) have a soul need to express themselves and they must blossom in ways that are sensible to them. I think I have found ways to blossom which are very important to me and I like sharing and speaking my truth in a clear voice. I'm not obsessed with my job anymore and I do feel much better! Perhaps I've figured out how to open my chakras ;)

As mentioned

here, I know where I am going. I have thought about it and I want to be honest, above all with myself. I feel squeezed between two cultures as I was raised catholic but I'm interested in oriental approaches to philosophy, psychology and life in general. I can't tell if I'm buddhist but I can claim that I'm not christian. I do believe in Christ and I love the revolutionary man  and his teachings. I don't believe in other things though and if I relied on faith in the past it's because I needed to believe in God.

I like more philosophical approaches to life and I'm especially inspired by buddhism. So I am going to the East, rather than to the West. In a sense, I'm traveling the spiritual path which seems to lead to the East. So perhaps I was wrong: the two perspectives cannot be brought together or, to put it better, I can't be christian and buddhist at the same time. I'm just a human being who is trying to use a spiritual compass but I need to choose: West or East otherwise I'll get lost.

Loosing one's religion is challenging but I'm pretty much sure of my choice. We will see where life will take me.

Yes,

I changed the template again (I can't help it, I like changes!).

It's gray

or grey?

I'm not in the mood for anything except for knitting and reading which I can certainly do given that I work at home today. I feel a bit dizzy but I don't know why. It might be related to PMS or even to Feldenkrais as it  releases tensions and I tend to somatize stress. I even didn't go out for a walk with big boy this morning! Anyway, I don't feel bad just... well, I'm sure you are all familiar with "not in the mood" days. I wish I had Pilates today and I also wish I haven't caught the flu!

On the positive side, we'll be going to the mountains until Monday to celebrate my partner's birthday. Hopefully my mood will improve (I'm sure it will). Just the two of us, so it will be a romantic gateway. The poor guy will try to relax and especially to sleep longer in the morning. I usually get up between 6:30 and 7:30 without an alarm clock: I'll finish the first scarf and begin the second while he snores.

Perhaps we will go the mountains also next week to attend a meditation seminar which will be held in a Buddhist monastery. Honestly, it's me who is interested but is he is too sensitive and good to say no. While I'll desperately try to calm my mind, he will fall asleep (guess why I call him sloth?!). I need a sloth, though, as I'm the opposite. I couldn't live with someone like me! He is always calm, easygoing, almost never upset or concerned, balanced and above all he likes sleeping. I have to go to bed before midnight in order to get enough sleep. No matter if he gets to bed at 10 p.m. or 3 a.m. ... he doesn't wake up until someone barks or shouts in his ears. I do wake up if I hear a butterfly flying outside my bedroom window (this is also why I've never moved to a big city: I need SILENCE).

I must confess that in more than 10 years together I've learned how to be less anxious but it has been a longat I have an unknown illness with high mortalty (and neve process and some efforts are still required. I'm better off now because of my sweet sloth and my interest in oriental philosophies otherwhise I would never sleep through the night and probably never stop thinking thr stop checking signs of ovulation: "we have to do it NOW, ok?" Yes, I tend to be this kind of person).

my partner climbing his favourite tree ;)

Feldenkrais Method

On Mondays I go to a small "cultural" association to do Pilates which I really enjoy despite the fact that it is difficult. Perhpas I like it because it's challenging. I love the environment too: two rooms, low light, few people who call me by my name if you can see what I mean. This small world has nothing in common with gyms that I cannot stand for several reasons (i.e. people sweat like pigs and feel really cool... all muscle and no brain). We are only 5 and A. is a very good teacher and a friendly, warm person as well.

Tonight I went with my best friend to take another course called Feldenkrais. We didn't have a clue about it and it was a pleasant surprise! Wow, I felt so good and we immediately signed up for two months and half course. 4 people and L, the teacher. Honestly, another world opened up: have a look if you are interested in knowing more about it.

Key word is awareness.
ps. to correct is incorrect.

I shall stop writing ( *random SHORT thoughts*)

things like "cut down on travel" as it seems IMPOSSIBLE to stick to this plan. I've just found out that I have to go to Belgium next week (!). I  tried to decline but it seems as though I can't say no. Fine, I'll go for 24 hours.

My front teeth still has problems and we have to wait at least 15 days to take a decision. I'm a bit concerned but there's not much I can do at the moment. I am not too optimistic though.

As you can imagine, I'm pretty busy and I don't know when I'll be able to sit down, think and write like I used to do. I miss my blog and your blogs as well! However, in the evenings -when I'm too tired to switch on my laptop- I enjoy knitting and my first scarf looks good... so far.

I have just received this: hopefully not the uncorrected version! I'm looking forward reading it but I know how Franzen writes so perhaps this is not the right time to immerse myself in his book. Rather, I'll start reading this one and let you know about it.

Speak to you soon