She has written me. She is going to have a c section on Friday and wanted to let me know. Also, it seems that they will be moving very close to where I live (10 minutes walking). I don't know what to think, honestly. I'm trying to understand my mixed feelings of excitement, insecurity and why not? even jelousy. I thought Arte was wrong but it seems as though I am a bit jelous of her -I imagine- wonderful belly. Her baby girl will be born on Friday and I don't even live with my partner! It's strange because I'm happy for her but I also wish I could be in her shoes now. On the contrary, I can't sleep and feel dog tired. I'm exhausted and frustrated, it's not a good moment. I was fine in Rome because I had the chance, as I mentioned, to free my mind from negative thoughts but now everything seems difficult again. I even took a sleeping pill yesterday night and I know that if my current situation doesn't change, I'll have serious problems.
So, what am I supposed to do? Meet the baby and see her after 6 years? I don't think I can deal with all that, it would be overwhelming but I've just written "keep me posted, I'll see you and the baby soon". Life is so complicated. Anyway, I really hope everything will sort out well for her. She will be a great mum, I'm sure about that.