I have changed my mind. I'm not brave enough to meet her. I've been fighting hard to find a balance lately and I don't want to challenge myself. Not right now. I lied and said that I can't meet her anymore because I'm too busy which is partly true. I do have time for lunch as we had arranged. I could have taken your advice but as I said, perhaps it's not right time. I'm aware that few days ago I claimed that I wanted to deal with an emotional knot, implying that it was the right time. Well, it's not. I'm going to Tuscany for a couple of days.
I'll see/read you soon.
If I should play the jungian psychologist which I am not, I would say she's your Shadow. You may be projecting some negative feelings of yours, which you don't approve of, onto her. Like envy. She used to be the envious. Could you be envious of her pregnancy now?
ReplyDeleteSorry if I'm being rude, but you're going "public" with this story and I find it very interesting. I've had this sort of feelings myself towards someone(and avoided the challenge, just like you).
@artemisia - that's a very interesting take/idea. I await Lola's answer ;-)
ReplyDelete@Lola I hope you have/had a really nice time in Tuscany. Certainly the weather, now, would seem to be perfect for such a trip. Talking of envy - I am, almost, envious - but then, I have special reasons for wanting to go to Tuscany - and still it's not the right time. I wait........
I also have special reasons to go to Tuscany!
ReplyDelete:)
@arte: you're not rude! Your comments are always welcome. I don't know if I'm envious, to be honest. I don't think so but the mind is too difficult to give simplistic answers. It seems that I'm scared to meet her for complex reasons I don't even fully grasp.
ReplyDelete@andy: we didn't go to my fav.place as my big boy was sick (now he is fine) and I didn't want to leave him with someone else. I'm the mum afterall!
We all have special reasons to go there! :)
Relationships (of any kind) are complicated and fraught with dangers and pitfalls. Obviously, as you know, I think you should meet her - to get over this thing but I also understand why you didn't. And there are some things best left as they are but until you can handle it, then, perhaps, you should stay away.
ReplyDeleteAs for Tuscany - sorry to hear about big boy being sick - and yes, I fully understand not going whilst he was ill - of course, I would :-)
I know, andy and I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteIt's very complicated.
My big boy had a fight with a big bird (not kidding, I live in the countryside) plus he got a kind of allergy so.. he had to stay at home with his mamma. :)