Spirituality PART I

I was raised catholic mainly because I attended catholic private schools. My family didn't go to church, except for my grandmas but it's the kind of thing you expect in Italy. I recall them, especially one of them, praying every single day with rosary in her hands. She was devoted to Padre Pio and Saint Rita and had a small bag with pictures and prayes. In high school I did not have a choice as we pray in class and went to the mess every saturday. It can tell if I had a faith or not, prayers were part of my routine activities and I did not put much thought into religion.

As I've grown up God disappeared over my horizon. I did have a choice and decided I didn't want to go to church anymore. Boys, love and fun seemed to be out of the church and I simply stop going. My parents were fine with it but my grandma didn't like it and sometimes -to please her- I went to church on Christmas. It didn't make sense to me but I loved her so much and I did it for her, she was so happy and proud to see me there.

Two years ago I went to church alone on Christmas day. She was too ill to come and -again- I did it for her. She passed away few days after. Since then my spirituality has changed. I've stumbled upon religious people who made me think about my lost faith. These friends and colleagues aren't sunday morning Christians, they follow on a daily basis christian principles. I began to form my own answers to "the big question" and I still don't know whether I believe or not. Do I believe in God? Yes and no. Do I believe in Jesus? Yes. Do I believe in the church? No. Do I go to church? Not to attend mass but sometimes I do stop by and pray. Do I like the Pope? Not at all.

to be continued...