Perhaps Proust is a bit too heavy

after 50 pages one just wants to commit suicide (or fly to France which is even worse than suicide. Cheese is fabulous, Paris merveilleuse but French people...). Every year I think that it is just the right time to read In Search of Lost Time. I "taste" the first few pages to confirm that yes, the right time has come. As I read through I change my mind as it is a claustrophobic masterpiece. It is a shame as I would LOVE to read it but one has to be in the right mood.

So, what can I read? I should read in English but I must confess that I'm getting lazy. I use English all the time, sometimes it's good to lay in bed reading a book written in my own language. I'll probably read Il gioco dell'Angelo (The Angel's Game) as it is set in Barcelona and I'm going there in February for a couple of days (hopefully for more than just 2 days). Can't wait: Spain, Portugal and Greece are the only European countries where I feel almost at home.

I haven't done much today. I feel so tired for no reason. Well, I'm probably having what I usually have every single month: a severe PMS ( I have ALL the symptoms described there, what a lucky girl!). I feel like s*** and can't focus at all. I'll have to catch up tomorrow, otherwise someone is going to kill me pretty soon. To make things worse I have to go out tonight.

This weather makes me want to curl up and read a good book

Sandro Veronesi

With regards to translations, I've found out that Quiet Chaos is available in English. I don't know if the translation is good though. It must have been challenging to translate the above mentioned book into English as the author has a very peculiar style.

As for XY, his last book, I must admit that is very good. I enjoyed Caos Calmo (Quiet Chaos) but I found it too long. It could have been -say- 100 pages shorter. XY is a thriller (or a mistery book? I'm not sure...) that revolves around 10 very strange murders which occur in a small and isolated mountain village, all 10 in one day at the same time. Nothing new, right? Fear somehow relates to the mountains (i.e. Misery, The Shining). The murders seem unrelated but they must be linked as the bodies are found in one place. What is interesting is that the reader experience the story through the perspectives of two characters and one of them has something to do with the murders due to a weird thing that happens to her the day when the bodies are found.

I'm reading it, it has been intriguing so far. Bravo Veronesi.

Karenina for dummies

I found out (page 236, Italian version) that Anna is pregnant. She tells V.(her lover and the baby's father) who politely discusses with her the opportunity of leaving her husband. However, she is even more tormented now as she is torned between two different and intense kinds of love: her first son who is more likely to stay with her husband and V. who makes her immensely happy. She is also trapped in the social restraints imposed by the culture and the society she lives is and does't know what to do.  Is the quest for happiness worth it? Can she live without her son? How can she deal with the conventions of the Russian society?

to be continued

Silence, space and Mrs.Dalloway

It would have been a perfect afternoon to focus on writing. There's nobody around, it's a grey day and the space -usually filled with books, people, sounds- it is nearly empty. Instead, I constantly check my emails, speak on the phone, think about how I relaxed I am. Yes, I am "relaxing as it is", as my screen saver's statement says. I'm too relaxed, that's the problem... procastinating decisions and work commitments. I will be fine, I'll go through all I have to do in the next days. 

It's quiet to the extent I can hear my own thoughts. Ideas make noise, a soft pillow-like noise when one turns during sleep. It crossed my mind to call my shadow but I wasn't really serious about it. I could call her today, I thought after my vegan lunch, but I wasn't excited nor concerned. The idea fell flat while I was walking back to my office. Should I call her? I don't know, perhaps I could break the ice first, pick up the phone and ask how it is doing with her baby girl. Apparently she wrote on facebook that she is in love with her. I bet, she seems so cute!

My mum doesn't understand why I feel the urge to solve this emotional knot. She doesn't even think about all this as something that needs to be addressed as she knows how L. is and is much more skeptical than me. She doesn't think people could change, when friendship is over it's really over and that's it. However, she told me that if it's crucial to me, I should call/meet her. I still don't know what to do. By the way, after the baby was delivered I haven't dreamt of her anymore. I did have strange dreams though, I wish I had written them down.

I finished The Secret Life of Bees which I really enjoyed and just started The Hours. The movie based on the novel is simply amazing, I've seen it 4-5 times (perhaps even more). The book is written in a wonderful, marvelous, perfect English and the characters -three women who live in different times linked by Woolf's Mrs Dalloway- are so unique I don't even dare to describe. 

As Clarissa steps down from the vestibule her shoe make gritty contact with the red-brown, mica-studded stone of the first stair. She is fifty-two now, just fifty-two, and almost unnaturally good health. She feels every bit as good as she did that day in Wellfleet, at the age of eighteen, stepping out through the glass doors into a day very much like this one, fresh and almost painfully clear, rampant with growth. There were dragonflies zigzagging among the cattails. There was a grassy smell sharpened by pine sap. Richard came out behind her, put an hand on her shoulder, and said, "Why, hello, Mrs. Dalloway". (p.10)

Reading The Secret Life of Bees

I like the epigraphs (and the book) at the beginnis of each chapter:

Honeybees are social insects and live in colonies. Each colony is a family unit, comprising a single, egg-laying female or queen and her many sterile daughters called workers. The workers cooperate in the food-gathering, nests building and rearing the offspring. Males are reared only at the times of year when their presence is required.

- Bees of the World

Edward Said

I should have read it long time ago. Blame on me, it's a bit late now. I came across this masterpiece yesterday and I couldn't put it down. Wonderfully written, this book has changed the perspective of many scholars on the role played by culture (i.e. English literature) in forging imperialism.

The role of culture in the modern imperial experience is in fact paramount and Edward Said looks at "individual works to read them first as great products of the creative or interpretative imagination, and then to show them as part of the relationship between culture and empire" (xxiv).

I'll write more about it.

Things I have been silent about

I still have deadlines and I'll be pretty busy until May. I have thought about this blog, though, and I do want to keep this space alive. An idea came to my mind few days ago but I immediately "erase" it.

There is no need to delete this blog because I like how I have shaped the boundaries of my own story and identity so far thanks to this tool. What is a blog if not a narrative tool to covey our version of our personal history?

Besides, for the very first time and unlike past virtual experiences, I feel that this is my very personal space where -for unknown reasons- I feel free to write about me. I lreally like to be read by the few people who know about this blog and I enjoy writing in English.

I've came up with a potential solution. As March, April and May will be hectic as far as work, travels and several commitments, the only way to nurture this space is writing during the weekend. I'm sure it will work for me, except when I'll be away from home. I also want to catch up with my favourite blogs.

Blogprolific will become a weekend blog, that's my own commitment to myself and my readers. How does it sound?

ps. I'm reading a wonderful book, it's truly inspiring and I'll be writing about it soon.

Venice (again)

The sun helps me feel better and I do feel fine today. Right after I published the post I realized that it was a mistake. I felt guilty because the post is about very private stuff and I didn't want to hurt my partner. However, I also became aware of the fact that "feeling guilty" doesn't help at all. I had the urgent need to write down my problems and the blog is a way to share and feel lighter.

I'm working on an ambitious paper focused on a very specific and complicated topic. I've been reading, analysing and studying many books and I feel lucky as I can explore one the most negleted aspect in my field. It's a lot of work, though, and I don't have much time to write two articles. Hopefully at some point I'll give up reading and I'll start writing.

At the end of the day I need to focus on something else, that's why I picked up a book written by the good contemporary Italian writer Melania Mazzucco. La caduta dell'Angelo is about Tintoretto and it's (obviously) set in Venice. I love reading books set in this magical city. MY Venice is far from the most popular places (San Marco, Rialto and so forth) and thanks to my ucle we had the chance to visit less well known and beautiful parts.

It's foggy today

and I feel a bit foggy too. It's of those days you feel fine but there's also a sense of sadness that makes my vision blurry. I still don't have a clear vision of my future and there are challenges this year too which seem bigger than me.

I was knitting (yes, the dog blanket) while watching Little Buddha last night. This wonderful movie made me think about strategies to cope with life challenges. We all have strategies or little tricks either to live better or to give a meaning to life. To me buddhism is a demanding but all encopassing philosophy to define a long term action and a tactic. I don't know if it's for me though. I have read several books on buddhism and when things fall apart I know where I have to look at to feel better. I just have to look inside instead of outside of me. The problem is that my spiritual journeys are far too short. One day I read the gospels and the next day I want to go to Tibet to mediate on life. There is no coherence in my spiritual quest. I don't even know if I'm spiritual at all. Besides, I am a "lonely wolf " meaning that I can't be part of a christian, buddhist or whatever group. I am allergic to groups even if I am a very social person. I have always read books on my own to figure out my own strategy. I'm not still there as I have lots of drafts but no definitive plannings.

In the meanwhile, I read Tolstoj.

All the efforts of several hundred thousand people, crowded in a small space, to disfigure the land on which they lived; all the stone they covered it with to keep it barren; how so diligently every sprouting blade of grass was removed; all the smoke of coal and naphtha; all the cutting down of trees and driving off of cattle could not shut out the spring, even from the city. (Resurrection)

... all the challenges could not shut out the spring, even from this difficult year.

The elegance of the Hedgehog

We saw the movie and it's nice but nothing can compare with this great book. I'm re-reading (in IT) and I've realised that it's all about spaces. Real spaces versus inner spaces. While the first are represented by the building apartments, the second are eptomized through two charaters, the concierge Renée and a sharp-eyed 12 year old named Paloma. Tangible spaces and the appearance of Reneé are only functional shells that hide respectively rich but deeply superficial people and an intelligent woman with a delicate soul.

The small world of the building apartments is seen through the sarcasm and the brightness of Reneé and Paloma who happen to know each other due to a Japanese who buys a vacant apartment. It's interesting noting that, Kazuro organizes his apartment space in a peculiar way. Specifically, as Paloma subtly argues, Japanese mostly use sliding doors that separate rooms from other rooms without "cutting" off abruptly portions of space. Kazuro's apartment is not a "shell" poorly related to its resident, rather there is no difference between the outside and the inside.

Conclusion: the movie counterpart is nice but READ the book first!

Changes & other things

As you may notice, I have made some changes to the blog:

• the header image (yes it's my big boy)
• new links. As promised, the "positive links" are some online resources (IT and EN) on HIV-AIDS. Moreover, there are also few "knitting blogs" (IT)
• "currently reading" will be regularly updated
• fonts and colors are different, I hope you like them.

I am full of energy today and I don't even know why. Perhaps it's because I'll be back to work on Monday which scares me and excites me at the same time. I'm looking forward to see my boss and my colleagues who spent the Christmas break in amazing places. I don't know whether there will be time to chat as I'll have to catch up on my work. However, my boss is probably planning a lunch and/or dinner at his wonderful house that looks like a modern museum of anthropology. We'll have plenty of time to chat (and drink, and eat etc.).

We went to see Io, loro e Lara. Perhaps I'm a little biased since I do like Verdone but I think that this movie is a perfect snapshot of the contemporary Italian society. We're going to see Il Riccio this weekend. By the way, the book is great and I highly recommed reading it.