Catching up

I'm back in Italy but I have to catch up with a whole week of work. After all, the extra days spent in London were not a waste of time as I reconnected with friends and got to know much better some of them. Even if I need time on my own -like everyone else, I think- I am also very social and I enjoyed being around my Brits, Canadian, Belgian and Greeks friends. Especially the English, I must admit, as I had the wrong idea of "cold" as opposed to the "warm hugs" of both Canadians and Greeks. My English hosts turned out to be friendly, very warm, nice and funny. It seems as though I will always have a place to stay in London which, by the way, is in part of the city I came to love. It's around 40 minutes by tube from the city centre with plenty of ethnic restaurants, green areas and quiet streets. I did have a great time in the UK even if I'm pretty busy now. In any case, it was worth it as my "social capital" is richer than ever.

Stuck in London

I've been stuck in London for days and will be able to come home by train on Thursday. I've reserved a seat on the eurostar and my dad will come to pick me up in Paris (!!) which means approx. 8-10 hours driving. It's crazy what's going here. London is packed almost everywhere and it did cost me a fortune to buy a ticket to get to Paris. I'm also running out of money (all I have is 20 pounds) but luckly I have my credit card and I'm also staying with friends that has been a REAL blessing so far. They offered me a decent place to stay, I have my own room and I do enjoy this part of the city. We're not in the city centre but I much prefer here as it's very quiet, the house is lovely and they are sooo nice.

I know I'm lucky compared to other people who do not have friends to rely on. Yesterday in Hyde park we met a Spanish couple who shared a room with other 18 people in a hostel and have only 60 pounds to get back to Spain. I've heard all kind of stories so far. I'm looking forward to go home and the eruption has caused me troubles as I had to reschedule my work (not to mention how much I miss my home, partner, family, dog) but I have also spent time with friendly people who really care about me.

Hopefully I'll be in Italy on Thursday night.

London, Pilates and tips

I'm leaving on Monday and I won't be able to update this blog for a week which is a shame because I'd love to tell you about my crazy (=busy) days in London. I'll meet all my friends on Monday evening and  we'll be working hard until Thursday. I don't have any special plans for Friday and Saturday but I'll be with two girlfriends so I'm sure we'll have fun.

I had my first pilates class yesterday and I enjoyed so much although I found it quite difficult. It's challenging to learn how to breath in a proper way and it takes a while to achieve good alignment and posture. I signed up for a 3 months course, 1 day a week at a sort of "cultural association". I like the fact that we are only 5 (!)and the teacher is really focused on us. I also like the non-gym environment and the lovely girls I met yesterday. I'm eager to learn and I'm looking forward to the second class (after London).

I will try to "work out" while in London as I'm sure I'm going to miss brisk walking with my baby boy. I'm planning to go for 30 minutes walk every -say- 2 days. I don't want to stop using my legs for a whole week! Moreover I feel better (psychologically and physically) when I move. I've recently realized that I've developed my own ways to deal with stress (or life?) which, by the way, are pretty similar to these tips:

• go to bed early (between 11 and 12)
• drink a lot of water, especially in the morning
• take royal jelly in spring and autumn
• reduce meat and bread consumption and eat much more vegetables and fruits (very easy as I used to be a vegetarian)
• focus on one deadline at a time ;)

I was planning to work this morning but the weather is great and I don't want to miss the chance to go brisk walking for the last time before leaving with my big boy.

Thinking... in a ray of light

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" (Dante)

I shall abandon all hope in the coming weeks as I will be super busy with:

• another TIGHT deadline --- damn it! I should have said NO but now it's too late I'll end up working at nights... no kidding;
• a week in London which entails both being super professional and (hopefully) having fun + catching up with friends (not sure I'll be able to update the blog from there);
• pilates on Fridays --- damn it! I should have said NO but now it's too late I'll end up going in a very bad mood;
• a surprise party for one of my best friends ---- damn it! I should have said NO but now it's too late and we'll end up going, pretending to get along with other "people" we barely know;
• ... what else? If I abandon all hope, I won't forget good wine. It might be of help in the coming weeks along with coffee & chocolate.

Knots

There is an unsolved emotional knot in my life: L. She was my best friend for a long time. We went to high school together and stayed in touch while in college. We also attended the same University and spent a great amount of time together: holidays, weekend and so forth. We grew up sharing our experiences about our first crushes on boys and deep feelings on life and family. I didn’t notice there was a problem between us until I met my current partner when I was around 20. I broke up with C. and fell desperately in love with him.

During this life revolution L. basically disappeared claiming she had troubles with her family which was only partly true. While on one hand I suffered, on the other I enjoyed my brand new love without putting much thoughts into her weird behavior. After few months, she told me the truth: she did have troubles but she was also a bit jealous of me who –unlike her- always had boyfriends. All of a sudden I realized that her jealousy had deep roots: I was the “nice” and thin one opposed to slightly overweight and not so nice girl. Boys had a crush on me, not on her. I had an open minded family while she had to fight daily against a catholic mentality. My mum was a beautiful and independent woman who raised me with strong ethical and laic principles while hers was a fake catholic dependent from the husband.

As soon as I became aware of all the envy, I “broke up” with L. In 2004 we met for the last time as I was leaving for Canada and she wanted to say goodbye. She was a completely different person: very thin and fit, focused on her physical appearance and proud to have a partner.

She is married and pregnant now. Sometimes she sends me text messages for Christmas or for my birthday. When I get a message I dream of her. It’s very strange as I don’t think about her during the day but she hunts me at night. Last night I even dreamt of her brother. Obviously she is an emotional knot, perhaps because she was the first big delusion in my life. I can’t get rid of her and I wish I could tell L. what I feel. Last year she tried to get in touch with me but I didn’t want to see her. However, deep inside of me, I would like to solve this knot and see her, speak out loud all my feelings.

Why am I disgusted?

Because we are increasingly ruled by the Vatican and I don't like it at all. As I mentioned, I'm spirtual but I would like to live in a country where the words autodetermination and freedom of choice still make sense.

Portami al mare, fammi sognare (and KISS me)

Let's face it

I'm stressed out, tired and definitely need a break from work. I met 3 deadlines and I still have one to meet by April 20th but the London journey makes everything more difficult. However I can't function anymore if I don't take at least 1 day off. Guess what? Today I am OFF. I have checked my emails but I haven't replied (what a big relief!) and I'll do my best to relax although I know what I'd need to feel better. I should go on vacation to an exotic place (maldives? mauritius?) with my partner, lay in the sun, swim in an amazing sea, eat delicious food (mango, passion fruit, coconut, fried banana) and make love every single day and -this is the most important thing- forget both my mobile and my laptop at home. In order to escape ASAP for -say- 18 days we need a good excuse. We should consider marriage, my love. Let's plan a very long honeymoon and say goodbye to stress, family and friends for a while.

*UPDATE*
[instead of planning marriange & honeymoon I'm going to a new spa with a friend for 1 hour today. Can you believe it? What the hell can I do in just an hour? She's about to leave and has only limited spare time...]