I have moved

HERE

A different stage

It's pouring raining and I'm staying at home. Not for the rain, even if it would be a good reason to stay inside. This damp and gray morning makes me think about this stage of my life. I have been dealing with some challenges in the last few weeks. I haven't spent enough quality time with my soul mate. He has been very busy and when we are together we are often tired and/or nervous. We had planned to move in together by the end of this year but the renovation works take longer than expected. The option might be to temporarily move to another place and we are seriously thinking about it. It's not that simple as we need to find a place for few months and there is only one possibility which seems reasonable. However, other people are involved (I do want to go into details here) and more talk is needed. Hopefully, we will sort this out in the following days. I really want to move in with him as soon as possibile. I can't wait any longer and I'm sure our relationship will benefit from living together: we desperately need to live our own life!

More over, I feel completely disconnected from my work. I've realised that I'm not as passionate about my work as I used to be. As above mentioned, this is perhaps just a stage but I don't know how to cope with those unpleasant feelings. They have been "knocking on my head" for a long time and I just can't drop these thoughts as they were not important.

On the plus side, I am getting involved (and I am passionate about it!) in politics. Like many Italians, I'm fed up with Mister B. and I think it's time to get actively involved in order to change the political landscape. I go to local meetings and I support a political party.

I also feel the urge to write and share my thoughts, projects (i.e. knitting stuff) etc. on my blog. It seems that writing keeps me alive and I'd like to move ahead. There's nothing professional in this blog, but I would like a more stylish way to put content on the web as I'm planning to open a virtual shop to sell my handmake scarves.

Yarn shopping and more knitting

Moving?

I'm thinking about moving this blog to squarespace.

If I take this decision, I will let you know either here or by email. If you don't see this homepage in the next hours or days it's only because I am moving all my "virtual" stuff there, ok?

Perhaps Proust is a bit too heavy

after 50 pages one just wants to commit suicide (or fly to France which is even worse than suicide. Cheese is fabulous, Paris merveilleuse but French people...). Every year I think that it is just the right time to read In Search of Lost Time. I "taste" the first few pages to confirm that yes, the right time has come. As I read through I change my mind as it is a claustrophobic masterpiece. It is a shame as I would LOVE to read it but one has to be in the right mood.

So, what can I read? I should read in English but I must confess that I'm getting lazy. I use English all the time, sometimes it's good to lay in bed reading a book written in my own language. I'll probably read Il gioco dell'Angelo (The Angel's Game) as it is set in Barcelona and I'm going there in February for a couple of days (hopefully for more than just 2 days). Can't wait: Spain, Portugal and Greece are the only European countries where I feel almost at home.

I haven't done much today. I feel so tired for no reason. Well, I'm probably having what I usually have every single month: a severe PMS ( I have ALL the symptoms described there, what a lucky girl!). I feel like s*** and can't focus at all. I'll have to catch up tomorrow, otherwise someone is going to kill me pretty soon. To make things worse I have to go out tonight.

This weather makes me want to curl up and read a good book

Soft & Warm

If you are running out of ideas for Christmas presents, you could buy one of my soft and warm scarves!

Contact me at: lolatwit[at]yahoo.it

"The whole of Proust's world comes out of a teacup"

S. Beckett.

The episode of the madeleine dipped in tea is the most famous "involuntary memory" in In the Search of Lost Time. Indeed, food, tastes and smells trigger memories and sometimes reproduce emotions from the past.

Inspired by Andy's recepies and Arte's post, I have decided to write a post about my involuntary memories which are trigged by my favourite food/dishes. If you like the idea, I encourage you to do the same.

Favourite dishes:

1. Polenta with gorgonzola. Involuntary memory: my maternal grandma's kitchen. We gather on Sundays, the kitchen is very small (and hot) and polenta with cheese is the hoven to keep it hot. My gradma is fond of cheese (we are all fond of cheese, can't live without it) and eats big portions. I would never stop eating but after a while I have enough. Polenta is a poor food but it's very filling.
2. Frittura dolce, "Fried sweet" (a Piedmontese dish made with sugar, milk, semolino -I don't know the proper translation- and lemon pulp. It's not a dessert, rather we eat it as entrée and it is delicious). Involuntary memory: my paternal grandma's kitchen and bedroom where frittura was kept cold for one day before cooking. I smell the lemon pulp and immediately spot the oval dish in the cold bedroom. I steal some uncooked (= not fried) perfectly cut pieces of frittura. During lunch I almost eat only frittura dolce and... the following dish
3. Vitello tonnato. Involuntary memory: my paternal gradma's house. Meat has never been my favourite food but I LOVE the sauce! I eat a small slice of veal and eat a great amount of sauce with bread. Now I eat both with gusto but I'll never taste my gradma's sauce again, it was great.

What about your involuntary memories?

Dinner (tonight)

check this out.

Great blog, isn't it?

Another morning (Sunrise, Alba)

enjoy it.

Sandro Veronesi

With regards to translations, I've found out that Quiet Chaos is available in English. I don't know if the translation is good though. It must have been challenging to translate the above mentioned book into English as the author has a very peculiar style.

As for XY, his last book, I must admit that is very good. I enjoyed Caos Calmo (Quiet Chaos) but I found it too long. It could have been -say- 100 pages shorter. XY is a thriller (or a mistery book? I'm not sure...) that revolves around 10 very strange murders which occur in a small and isolated mountain village, all 10 in one day at the same time. Nothing new, right? Fear somehow relates to the mountains (i.e. Misery, The Shining). The murders seem unrelated but they must be linked as the bodies are found in one place. What is interesting is that the reader experience the story through the perspectives of two characters and one of them has something to do with the murders due to a weird thing that happens to her the day when the bodies are found.

I'm reading it, it has been intriguing so far. Bravo Veronesi.

Ashamed to be Italian

"better than being gay"

After all

through pilates and feldenkrais I'm playing with myself so I'm more confortable with a less serious template.

Despite the terrible weather, we had a lovely weekend: great food & wine! If you are around, I'd recommed to have lunch/dinner here:

1. Enoteca regionale di Canelli

2. Piazza Crova, 3 (Vaglio Serra).

I finished my second scarf and I will be be done with the third soon. While I was knitting we had an interesting conversation. Again, I think I know where I'm going as I feel really good when I'm focused on my body and on the connection between body and mind. Priorities change as lfe changes and at this stage of my life I feel the need to catch up with my body. I've been focusing for a long time on my intellectual growth, it's now time to pay attention to my body needs.

This morning

Underground Cathedrals & Books & something else

We're going to see some underground cathedrals (see also here) this coming weekend: I can't wait as I love that area. My partner has found a very romantic place to stay. He is pretty good at it ;) We'll be back on Monday afternoon... I can't miss Pilates. I guess I'll need to work out next week:

- tomorrow: lunch with my best friend (pasta with zucchini, mint and fresh ricotta plus dessert);

- Saturday: lunch to celebrate my dad's birthday at a well known (and very good) restaurant not too far from where I live. Dinner with friends (homemade pizza);

- Sunday: Piedmontese cuisine at lunch and dinner, namely not so light food and excellent wines.

- Monday: + 3 kg!

I've just bought two novels written by very good Italian writers: Niccolò Ammaniti and SandroVeronesi. I don't know if their books have been translated into English. Google them, Ammaniti's and Veronesi's books are always worth reading. 

I've been busy lately and I haven't had time to write about a meeting with someone I haven't seen for more than 20 years. She gave me a picture of us when we were 10 years old ... good memories and nostalgia. I'll write soon about it.

I am far better now than last summer which is unusual as one always feels great on holidays. It is possibly related to several aspects. My mom, who has been suffering from a chronic disease for a long time, is doing very well. I can't quite believe it, she is a different person. I love her so much, we are very close and it's great to see her living again. She is busy renewing her house and seems very excited about it. Pilates and Feldenkrais have changed my perspective and I have been changing... for the better (as one of my colleagues told me yesterday). We have been planning our life together and after 13 years I can see major changes coming up. We'll move in together very soon and hopefully have kids. 

Have a good weekend :)

A ray of light (and my belly)

It's been raining since yesterday night. I woke up at 6:40 at it seemed 3 a.m: almost no light which I found very depressing. When I lived in Canada I had to wait until 10 in the morning to see a ray of light. I walked to the University in the dark, every single day. On my way back it was even worse as at 6:30 p.m in Ontario (December) is as dark as in a night without stars and moon. The same applies to the "wet coast": last November in Vancouver was far too dark for me.

I NEED more light! 

On the positive side, I'll go to Pilates later on. It cheers me up as the teacher is so funny and warm. Usually things go like this:

"Lolaaaa"

"Yes"

"Your belly moves. You're not breathing properly"

"It's not true"

"It is. Stop moving your belly, Lola"

"I'm not moving it. I DO have a belly, I'm not flat like you!"

"Nooo. You are not breathing properly. PULL YOUR BELLY BOTTON TO YOUR SPINE, Lola"

"Ok......... I can't"

"What??"

I can tell you, it is challenging. One has to:

- pull the belly botton to the spine

- do the lateral breathing and maintain it through the exercize.

Not to mention when one has to imagine a diamond in the pelvis! Last time my imagination was so powerful that I felt the urge to urinate!  (the culet was too close to my bladder).

Food and other things

I work at home today which is good as I can walk the dog before doing anything else. I share the office with other people and it's difficult to focus sometimes. As I mentioned elsewhere I need silence to "function", this is why I stay at home at least two out of 5 days per week. I'm planning to work hard today, cook brown rice and knitting (in the evening). Another thing I need -well, my intestine needs- to function is integral food (I'm not sure this is the right word. We say cibo integrale when food such as pasta and rice is brown and rich in fibres. How do you say? Integral or not refined?). I have very peculiar breakfasts: grained flax seeds (that cointain high level of dietary fiber) with dry mango, coconut and yoghurt is what I usually have. My partner says that "I'm not Italian" in this respect as I don't eat ordinary food, rather I prefer organic and vegetarian food. I used to be vegetarian and I still eat meat or fish for no more than -say- two times a week. I don't eat affettati (i.e. ham, salami and so forth)... except when I go to Tuscany as finocchiona is something I can't resist!

**
I'm reading two interesting books. One is non fiction, written by an English author who lives in Italy (no, it's not Andy!). Teach us to sit still has been a very pleasant reading so far. While the second book is fiction, it offers cultural insights which makes it more than just a novel. Both are worth reading. I'm looking forward to read Cunnigham's last novel which will be published in Italian in the next days. However, I'm sure I'll buy it in English ... 

**
I'm planning to write some Feldenkrais chronicles in order to explain the benefits of this method. If I have time, I'll do it in the following weeks.

8 years old

I don't think there are words to say how much I love him. He has changed our lives for the better and I simply couldn't live without those intelligent eyes which always try to understand what we say or what we are going to do. We have been together for 3 years now. Happy birthday big boy.

Your Mom

Scarves

The first is done, the second is a work in progress..
click to enlarge.

Perspectives

I have put considerable efforts to accomplish professional goals. I really like my job but it is not quite what I expected. I should focus more on relevant issues rather than on things which are far from my responsibility and expertise. Not to mention that I have changed a lot and I have other interests now and private goals I would love to achieve in the near future. My career is not as important to me as it was few years ago and I am certainly open to new job opportunities.

I might open a tea house and pastry shop or even sell my knitting products (well, my scarves). By the way, I'm thinking about uploading a picture of a scarf here and see if someone is interested. I won't make a living with scarves but still, it will be a nice try. If I lost my job I'd probably become seriously involved with Feldenkrais and would try to become a certified teacher.

Until few years ago I wasn't aware of my "body" and of the strict links between body and mind. I wasn't into body & mind issues as books and culture were my main interests. I hadn't been familiar with my body for many years until: a) I stumbled upon a book (this is my way to deal with problems: reading inspiring books); b) I  made a big mistake c) I asked myself what happened to my soul voice d) I underwent a surgery. After all this I realised how much I had lost: my instinctual nature was buried under intellectualism. I dealt with my frustrations and changed my perseptive on life: I don't work anymore on weekends, I listen to my body and I can see the body/mind connections. I've been working on breathing, posture and how to improve my well- being that might be or not related to my daily job. We all have to cope with job related problems, now I am able to put them into the right perspective: job is very important but not as essential as health. I do my best but I don't get stuck: I move on as there are other things in life. It may be sound obvious but it wasn't obvious to me until -as mentioned above- few years ago.

As a writer I love claims, women (I would say human beings) have a soul need to express themselves and they must blossom in ways that are sensible to them. I think I have found ways to blossom which are very important to me and I like sharing and speaking my truth in a clear voice. I'm not obsessed with my job anymore and I do feel much better! Perhaps I've figured out how to open my chakras ;)